"An Ode To Furballs" (By MzMarshal)

1. After dark, all cats are jaguars...
2. Never *ever* try to baptize a cat.
3. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled.
4. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care. But it knows .
5. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on my cat ...
6. Most people with cats, know they are being controlled. That's the horror of it ...
7. Never try to out stubborn a cat.
8. Thousands of years ago, humans worshiped the cat. They have not forgotten this . . .
9. Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get the fur off of my tongue.
10. I prefer to live with Feline Sapiens, thank you very much.
11. Picture of a fat tabby on a couch , looking at his owner, "My species domesticated your species... "

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White Kitty


Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it. Law of Cat Obstruction A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic. Law of Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop. Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.


Law of Obedience Resistance A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something. First Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible. Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping. Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. Law of Electric Blanket Attraction Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. Law of Random Comfort Seeking A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room. Law of Bag/Box Occupancy All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. Law of Cat Embarrassment A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her Embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

cat and milk

Law of Milk Consumption A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can. Law of Furniture Replacement A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. Law of Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human. Law of Fluid Displacement A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed. Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity. Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

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1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: They're like little, tiny women in fur coats!!!!!!

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